Perinatal depression in parents

Depression is a mental health illness which, with treatment, will get better in time. It can affect mothers or pregnant people, and fathers or co-parents, before and after the baby is born. Read more about the signs and treatment.

Depression during the perinatal period (pregnancy and the first year after having a baby) affects about one in seven women and birthing people.  

Depression in pregnancy can start at any time. Postnatal depression usually starts within six weeks of giving birth. However, it can appear up to a year after having a baby.

It can be mild or severe, and come on gradually or very quickly. 

Do fathers and co-parents get depression?

Research shows that fathers experience depression at a similar rate to women and birthing people during the perinatal period. While there is a lack of research in LGBTQIA+ parents, we might expect this applies in the same way to all kinds of families.  

Depression in fathers and co-parents is often neglected by healthcare professionals and services.

In this article we are including fathers and co-parents when we talk about perinatal depression, unless we make clear the research applies specifically to women and birthing people.  

What are the symptoms of depression?

Symptoms of depression can include:  

• Feeling down and teary most of the time
• Feeling numb, unable to feel happy, not getting usual enjoyment in life
• Feelings of hopelessness, despair, and worthlessness
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Sleep problems and lack of energy
• Restlessness, agitation, irritation or anger
• Feeling isolated, but also finding it difficult to leave the house or meet people
• Change in appetite
• Difficulty bonding with the baby
• Low interest in sex
• Feeling hostile towards a partner
• Suicidal or other frightening thoughts 

Why is it important to get support?

Having a baby is a life-changing event, and it takes everyone time to adapt to being a parent. No-one should feel guilty if they’re finding it hard. Caring for a baby can feel stressful and exhausting.

Seeking help for depression means the right treatment and support can be provided. Otherwise, depression might get worse or last longer. This can impact relationships with a baby, partner, or wider family. With the right treatment, most people make a full recovery. 

Treatment for perinatal depression

Self-help or help from family and friends includes making space for rest, exercise, and a healthy diet. Talking with friends and family about the reality of the early days of parenting, and spending time on things you enjoy can also help the parent’s wellbeing.

Treatment can be accessed via the GP or midwife. A course of short-term talking therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) might be offered. If the depression is more severe, the GP may offer to prescribe some antidepressant medication. Therapy and medication can be provided at the same time.

Is taking medication for depression safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding?

A GP or psychiatrist can provide information about taking anti-depressant medication while pregnant. If already taking medication prescribed for depression, it’s important to talk to a doctor if considering making changes, as stopping medication may trigger depression again.  

The health professional will be able to prescribe medication which is safe to take while breastfeeding.

Find out more about NHS talking therapy services. 

What are the baby blues and how are they different from depression?

The so-called ‘baby blues’ are a short period of low mood and feeling emotional and teary around 3-10 days after the baby is born. Although experienced by many new mothers or birthing parents, the feelings last only a few days and usually go away within two weeks of the birth.

Not only is the new mother or birthing parent recovering from the birth, they are also dealing with the responsibility of a baby, and experiencing changing hormone levels.  

Providing the new mother or parent with plenty of support and care can ease them through this short phase. Having lots of skin-to-skin contact with the baby may also help.

Postnatal depression is much deeper and long lasting. 

What causes perinatal depression in parents?

The exact cause of perinatal depression for all parents is not clear. In women and birthing people, it doesn’t seem to be simply due to hormonal changes.  

Some factors are known to increase the chance of becoming depressed in pregnancy and after birth. These include:  

• Having a history of mental health problems before or during pregnancy
• Not having a social support network of family or friends
• A difficult relationship with a partner
• Recent stressful life events
• Experiencing trauma, such as domestic violence or a history of abuse
• Having a traumatic birth can lead to depression and PTSD 

Anyone who thinks that they are at risk of perinatal depression should speak to a GP or midwife for support.

It is common for depression to be experienced alongside other perinatal mental health conditions such as anxiety. 

Spotting signs of postnatal depression in your partner or loved one

Perinatal depression has many different symptoms. Changes in a person’s physical wellbeing and behaviour are signs to look out for. However, this can be hard as some – such as disturbed sleep and lack of concentration – are normal as a new parent.

Checking in with them regularly to ask how they are feeling is important to be aware of any persistent mood changes. Talk to them and listen, offering encouragement that they will get better in time.

As perinatal depression can come on gradually, many people don’t realise they have it. Some might hide their feelings because they are ashamed, think they’re a bad parent, or that they’ll be judged. They may even be worried that their baby will be taken away.

Only in very exceptional circumstances is a baby removed from their parents. Seeking help is best for both the parents and baby. Doctors and health professionals want to give the parent the right care, so they are able to look after the baby themselves.

If someone is saying they don’t want to live or are thinking about harming themselves, get them urgent help straight away.

Other ways to support a partner or someone with perinatal depression:

• Be thoughtful in what you say. Depression is a mental illness and not self-indulgent or something a person can ‘snap out of’.
• Encourage them to speak to a GP or midwife about how they’re feeling and reassure them that they will get better.
• Do as much as you are able to look after the baby, and shop, cook and care for other children and pets.
• Look after yourself and make sure you have support too. 

Further information

There are local and national organisations that provide support for perinatal depression, including the Association for Post Natal Illness (APNI) and Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support (PANDAS). 

A huge thank you to the NCT for sharing this important and informative guide. Supporting parents’ wellbeing is just as vital as knowing what to do in an emergency, and having the right knowledge can make all the difference. At Mini First Aid, we’re proud to continue working in partnership with NCT to support families across the UK – helping parents feel more confident, capable and ready for whatever parenthood may bring.

Sign up to an award-winning Baby & Child First Aid class – find a class near you: https://www.minifirstaid.co.uk/classes/classes-for-parents-carers

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